Granny's Watching
by Thrills and Frills
Summary: After hearing about the late night activities of a customer’s daughter, Pinako becomes slightly paranoid about Edward and Winry. Is there something going on or is she imagining it all? EdWin.


**A/N:**

**Don't ask me about the timeline because I have no idea. Nothing too naughty in here, just a bunch of sexual references and really really mild swearing (like crap and bastard). Now, look below!**

**Our Little Girls**

Betsy Feldman, the town's dressmaker, was a regular customer of the Rockbell's. She'd had an accident a few years back with a pair of fabric scissors and had ever since required an automail index finger in order to continue with her work. Today, she had somehow managed to deeply dent the finger with her sewing machine and was now sitting in the Rockbell's kitchen, watching Pinako replace the coverings.

Mrs. Feldman had grey streaked brown hair that was always in a tight bun at the back of her head. She also had a rather large bumpy nose that drew attention. All in all, she was normally a very plain but tidy looking woman, however today, Pinako couldn't help but notice how tired and dishevelled she looked. Little bits of frizzy grey hair were sticking out of her bun, and she had large black bags under her eyes.

"Something troubling you, dear?" asked Pinako, not looking up from the automail.

"No," replied Mrs. Feldman with her usual nasal drawl. She paused. "Well actually…" trailing off, she looked at Pinako unsurely. "You're not—you're not the gossiping kind are you?"

"Hardly Betsy," replied Pinako, her eyes flicking up to her customer, then back down to her work.

"Then I can trust you not to tell anyone?"

"You can trust me."

Betsy exhaled slowly, before slightly leaning in towards the older woman. "Well, yesterday, my husband and I-" She looked around the kitchen suspiciously, searching for anyone who might be listening in. "-We found our daughter Nelly," she lowered her voice to a whisper. "-We found Nelly with young Tony Simmons." She leaned back quickly, waiting for Pinako's reaction.

Pinako just frowned. "What's wrong with the Simmons boy?"

"No you don't understand," said Betsy. "I found her _with_ the Simmons boy."

The elderly mechanic raised an eyebrow; she still didn't seem to comprehend.

"They were having intercourse!" burst out Betsy in a heated whisper, before quickly clasping her hand over her mouth as if she had just spoken about something foul and forbidden. She was always known to be a very overprotective and old-fashioned parent, so discovering that her daughter was sexually active was like finding out that the sky was falling.

Pinako, however, wasn't fazed. "Well they're teenagers. It can't be helped."

"Oh please," said Mrs. Feldman, still whispering. "Nelly didn't even know what …inter-intercourse was until a few years ago, now she's off doing it! They're not even married, what if she got pregnant?"

Pinako reached across the table for her screwdriver. "Calm down Betsy. Don't fuss yourself."

Mrs. Feldman scoffed, no longer whispering. "You might be fine with it now, but imagine if it was Winry? She's about the same age as Nelly, what if she's out doing the same thing?"

"She's smart, I trust her not to."

Betsy lifted up her automail free hand and pointed it at Pinako. "That's exactly what I used to say about Nelly, and exactly what I used to say about the Simmons boy too," she said, her voice getting oddly high-pitched. "I used to baby sit him when he was young, I've known him for years. I thought he'd look out for Nelly, make sure she stayed away from the frisky boys, I didn't think he'd be one!"

All of a sudden, Betsy's demeanour changed, from panicky and upset to an intense motherly seriousness. "You know it's always the little bastards that you think you can trust. They're the ones that are out to bed our little girls."

Pinako was a bit taken back; it was very uncharacteristic for Betsy to curse. "Of course dear," she said calmly, deciding it'd be best to agree with her customer.

Mrs. Feldman relaxed back in her chair, looking pensively at her nearly repaired finger. "Needless to say, my husband pulled the shotgun out when we found them, chased young Tony around for hours trying to shoot him."

The old woman chuckled. "Naturally."

**A Closer Eye**

"I'd say you boys had another close call."

Pinako was examining the automail arm of a certain Edward Elric—or at least, she was examining what was left of his arm.

It looked as though someone, or something, with a rather gluttonous appetite had bitten off his entire lower arm, so now bits of wire and jagged metal were poking out of his smashed elbow.

Ed shrugged off Pinako's comment. "It wasn't too bad, right Al?"

Al fidgeted noisily in the corner and nodded his head. Winry scoffed in disagreement, and huffily sat down next to Edward on the couch.

"Half your arm is missing, how is that _not too bad_?" she asked, anger rising slowly in her voice.

"He just got lucky, that's all, any other day we would've of kicked his ass," replied Ed casually, showing his usual amount of recklessness towards his automail and wellbeing.

Winry folded her arms, looking at him sharply. "Who just got lucky? Who did this to my automail?"

Pinako stood up straight and cleared her throat, stopping the two before another _you-don't-tell-me-anything_ argument broke out.

"Hmmm, well Edward, it will take at least two days to fix this mess."

Ed groaned. "Could you speed it up a bit? We need to get to Central as soon as possible."

"Could you speed your growth up boy? You need to stop being such a pipsqueak as soon as possible," snapped Pinako. "You can wait two days."

Ed's temper flared as per usual. "Who are you calling a-"

Winry interrupted him, putting her hand on his thigh to get his attention. "Look Ed, you've got to stop-"

Pinako tuned out of the conversation about then, something else had caught her attention:

Her granddaughter's hand was on teenage boy's thigh.

Usually that wouldn't have bothered Pinako, especially considering that it was Ed. Before, Winry would put her hand on his leg, he would blush and become rigid, and then she'd quickly pull her hand away, embarrassed, leaving Pinako to smile at their innocent awkwardness. However, this time, there was no embarrassment, no pulling away, the two just sat there yapping at each other, completely comfortable, as if Winry touched him there all the time.

If Pinako's mind was a house, then Betsy Feldman's words just burst through the front door.

"_You might be fine with it now, but imagine if it was Winry? She's about the same age as Nelly, what if she's out doing the same thing?"_

Now it took a lot to worry Pinako Rockbell. A lot. It would have to be a really big blow, a gigantic, knock-you-and-the-rest-of-Rizembol-over blow to make her fret, and you don't come by those very often. Sometimes though, people are often shaken up by the simpler things in life, like spiders, enclosed spaces, storms, the state of their granddaughter's virginity, you know, those types of things.

The idea that Edward and Winry were no longer awkward and _innocent_ with each other was all of a sudden very worrying.

From now on, she would be keeping a closer eye on those two.

**Paranoid**

The elder Rockbell had never considered how _suggestive_ the dialogue that is said during an automail repair could sound to someone listening in. All that talk about screws, power-tools, nuts and bolts, not once had she thought of those words as anything else but tools of trade. Now, as she listened to Winry repair Ed's arm in the next room, she couldn't help but think of the other meanings of those words, and the context that they could be using them in.

The echoes that kept popping up from Pinako's conversation with Betsy didn't help much either.

"_You know it's always the little bastards that you think you can trust. They're the ones that are out to bed our little girls."_

Pinako mentally told Mrs. Feldman to shut her trap. She knew Winry wasn't a little girl any more; granted, she wasn't quite yet a woman, but still old enough to make her own choices, and she trusted her enough to make the right ones.

Well, that's what Pinako wished she were thinking anyway.

Instead, she was unintentionally convincing herself that there was something going with young Mr. Elric and her granddaughter; after all, how could there not be? One of Winry's greatest loves was automail, and Ed was walking around with a mechanical arm and leg. Frighteningly enough, he also had hands, a mouth, a tongue, and fully functional boy-bits; there was quite a possibility that Winry loved all those too.

Pinako decided to get off that train of thought, because it would only lead to bad places.

Very bad places.

Places that grandmothers should never go. Ever. Places so bad for grandmothers that they shouldn't even be looking at the travel brochures for those bad places because they are so unbelievably bad.

The following day, Pinako was sitting at the kitchen table cleaning her small spectacles with a rose-printed handkerchief when she suddenly heard the clear ring of Winry's voice in an upstairs bedroom.

"Take it off, Ed! I want it now!"

Quite a demanding and suggestive comment for a young lady.

Pinako instantly dropped her handkerchief and shoved her glasses on. She roughly pushed out her chair and quickly scurried out of the kitchen and up the stairs, thinking about all the horrible things that she was going to do to a certain hyped-up, pipsqueak alchemist. No way was he going to impregnate_her_ granddaughter then leave to go looking for some rock. She scuttled along the corridor before stopping abruptly at the Elric's room. There, she found the door open and a scene so utterly, completely and unbelievably... innocent.

Winry, Al and Ed were all sitting on the floor between the beds playing a game of fish. By the looks of it, Edward had lost a bet and was now withholding a scarf that Winry had fairly won back. Leaning over the playing cards that lay forgotten on the ground, she was yanking at the scarf that Ed had flung over his neck, nearly choking him, while Al watched giggling.

Okay, so it was utterly, completely and unbelievably innocent in a homicidal sort of way.

Noticing the presence of the older woman, they all froze and looked up at her inquisitively. Pinako didn't say anything, she was too annoyed with herself, so she turned on her heel and headed back down the corridor, this time much more slowly.

As she reached the staircase, she heard the heavy clanging of armour behind her.

"Aunt Pinako? Is something wrong?" asked Al sweetly, concern in his voice.

The old woman turned to face him. "No," she sighed. "Just imagining things."

As she walked down the stairs, she decided that she was being ridiculously paranoid. She was even wondering if someone had slipped something _exotic_into her pipe; that would explain her odd behavior.

Feeling rather guilty, the granny wandered into her kitchen, intent on making the Elrics the best farewell dinner in the history of the Rockbell house. She was also considering giving up smoking.

**A Fond Farewell**

"Wake up kid, it's morning."

Nothing.

Pinako knocked loudly on the door to Ed and Al's room. Al was already up of course, but Ed had slept in as usual. She gave another three loud raps on the door, waiting for Ed's usual reply of, "Get lost! I'm sleeping!"

But still nothing.

Chewing on her pipe, Pinako opened the door and peered inside. His bed was empty.

"Unusual," she observed, folding her arms. Maybe Winry or Al knew where he was.

She made her way up to her granddaughter's room, and probably because of those relaxed and at ease feelings you get when you're around your home and family, Pinako didn't knock on the bedroom door.

"Winry," she said as she opened the door. "Have you seen Ed-?"

Pinako froze when looked inside the room.

Ed was in Winry's room, looking like a little boy who'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar… and let's stick with that analogy, and say that Winry was the cookie.

"Uhh, hi Granny," stammered Winry. Ed had her pushed against the wall closest to the door and they'd been making-out rather heavily. Luckily, they were both still half clothed; they hadn't gone _that_far. Unluckily for them, Granny was still pissed all the same.

Pinako's teeth were gritted, biting her pipe, and her frown was making even more wrinkles appear on her antique face. She glared at Edward, furious, and then slowly, her eyes moved towards the bedside table. Ed followed her gaze. There on the bedside table, lay one of his greatest fears… Winry's wrench.

"Oh crap."

At exactly the same moment, Pinako darted across the room to get to the wrench, Ed grabbed his shirt and dove for the door.

"Get back here Elric!" yelled Pinako once she had the metal tool in her hand. "I'm gonna give you a beating like you won't believe!"

With that, she bolted out of the room after Ed, running at a speed that was thought impossible for a woman her age. Ed was already heading down the staircase, taking two at a time.

"Al!" he screamed out. "Al! We're leaving! Now!"

Al looked up at him from the kitchen table. "What did you do, brother?"

Ed flew passed him, grabbing his suitcase which was already at the front door. Pinako was not far behind; she slid down the banister and ran out to the front yard, screaming plenty of obscenities as she went.

Al sighed, stood up, and after politely pushing his chair in, went outside to catch up with his brother.

**Punishment by Needle**

Winry groaned as she once again pricked her finger with the sewing needle.

"Here," said Nelly, passing her a thimble.

"Thanks," mumbled Winry, putting the metal cap on her finger.

Winry sat with her legs crossed on the table of Mrs. Feldman's workshop. Her punishment was to stay there for a while and learn the trade of sewing along with Nelly, who was also serving a sentence.

Nelly wandered over to the other side of her mother's small workshop, searching for a particular coloured thread. "So what happened to Ed?"

Winry put down the material she was working on, giving up after pricking her finger for the fourteenth time. "Granny beat him up with a wrench, now she has to fix his automail up again."

Nelly couldn't help but laugh. "And that's why you're working for my mom?"

"Yup, banned from all things automail—especially Ed," replied the blonde bleakly. "I have to stay here until Al and him leave."

"Are you going to sneak out and see him?" asked Nelly, lowering her voice slightly- just in case Mrs. Feldman was in the vicinity.

"Maybe," said Winry mischievously. "Is that what you and Tony do?"

"Maybe," replied Nelly in the same impish tone.

Betsy stuck her head in from the next room. "Stop chatting and get back to work!"

"Yes Ma'am," chorused the two girls dully.

**The End**

Okay! I did it! I wrote something! Now I just have to stop myself from deleting it two days later (naughty habit of mine). Anyhoo! The whole Ed/Winry relationship in this might have been a bit OOC, but the whole idea of a paranoid Pinako would not leave me alone, so I had to sacrifice a tiny bit of Ed and Winry to get it out of my system. See any mistakes or whatever, tell me about it and I will try my best to fix 'em up. I'm neurotic. Shut up.

Well, thanks for reading guys, hope you enjoyed!

DON'T BE LAZY! REVIEW!

**Some time later::**Wow, I just re-read this and my inner-editor is now itching to fix up all the mistakes. I think I'll leave it though, it's a sign that I've grown as a writer if I can see where I've gone wrong (and where I've gone right!), so I'll leave this unedited for you all. Perhaps one day I'll get the motivation to fix it.

I'd just like to thank everyone that reviewed and/or added _Granny's Watching_to their favourites; you've all made this a wonderful experience for me! Hopefully I'll have something else for you to read soon!


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